


come on (you stranger, you lengend, you martyr) and shine

by buckyjbarnnes



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Billy has powers, Billy's not dying on my watch, Canon Compliant, Character Death Fix, Developing Relationship, Fix-It of Sorts, Hopeful Ending, Love Confessions, M/M, post-season 3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-20
Updated: 2019-07-20
Packaged: 2020-07-09 02:43:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19880296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buckyjbarnnes/pseuds/buckyjbarnnes
Summary: There are some things Billy does differently since he came back. Steve finds he doesn't mind them that much.





	come on (you stranger, you lengend, you martyr) and shine

**Author's Note:**

> Listen, I had to write this because Billy's not dying on my watch. There might be some mistakes, there might be some inconsistencies, but you know what? I HAD to do this. 
> 
> The title's from Pink Floyd's Shine On You Crazy Diamond because that's one amazing song. 
> 
> Still no beta reader and English is not my first language, but I downloaded a tool that corrects grammar and spelling, so maybe there are fewer mistakes this time? Anyways, I just want you to know that this time it was my 3 brain cells and a chrome extension working on this thing.

There are some weak rays of sun outside when he finally falls asleep. They’ve been awake all day and almost all night, as per usual. 

It's quiet, the cabin where they end up. It’d be hell if it wasn’t, Steve thinks. 

It was a process to get used to, but Steve didn't mind it. He offered, after all, so he was in no place to complain. It had its perks too, like the tranquillity that came with not having to deal with government agents chasing them, or the inevitability of people finding out. The concerned faces of Dustin and Robin were something he still saw when they came over with groceries, or to bring Max every once in a while, and that was enough to deal with already. 

The bad sides usually only included big spiders _everywhere_ and the threat of some wild animal coming too close, but Steve had his bat and a shotgun too. Also, cooking everything from scratch, because they figured pretty early on that pre-made boxed food wasn’t gonna cut it forever. He doesn’t know how winter is gonna hit the cabin, but he figures that it will take someone going up on the roof to take care of the snow. They still have some time until then, at least, Steve figures. 

He knows his friends - yes, the kids are _friends_ ,- assume he's gone insane for going with Billy somewhere so isolated, somewhere so far from civilization that no one would hear him scream if Billy turned again and decided to do… _whatever_ it is he did with the people who died in July to the Mindflayer. He's not dumb though, he thought of that and a small part of him still thinks of that, occasionally, but Steve thinks it’s not something that would happen. The thing is, when the Mindflayer possessed Will, they sort of like, _exorcised_ him, so some of it never really went away, but Billy _died_ and then came back, like _Jesus_ or whatever. The thing must've died when Billy died that one time. It looks like it, anyway, to Steve. 

To prove his theory, it’s been two months and no incidents have happened. 

………

He ends up in the cabin that his parents have all but forgotten about, upstate and way more isolated than Hopper’s cabin ever was. It wasn’t like he planned on doing this, because at first he even debated ignoring the whole thing and continuing with his job at the arcade, and with his life that mostly consisted of hanging out with Robin and Dustin when he still occasionally came in. He found that it wasn’t like him to do that. White Knight Harrington and all. 

A couple of weeks after the Byers and Eleven left Hawkins, one Sunday he was coming back from Indianapolis because fucking Keith wanted some VHS that could only be found there. It was raining, pretty heavily at that, and he was trying to concentrate on the road so as not to crash or something. The music playing really wasn’t his thing, and it wasn’t helping with his mood, but Robin mixed her stuff with his own, saying that she was going to _educate him_ or whatever and he had to start with the lighter stuff, so they’d been listening to some Pink Floyd album that morning and he honestly had no energy left to look for something he actually enjoyed, and just let it be, cussing out Keith and his obscure fucking VHS’s and demands, and Robin, for being a damn music nerd. 

As he irritably drove through the pouring rain, he saw a lump fall way too close to his front wheels, so he immediately swerved, almost crashing against a tree. Then he stepped out of the car, to see what the fuck was that, and that’s when he saw him, lying there, in a hospital gown of sorts, thin, weak, dirty, and with his head shaved completely, but unmistakably him.

He’d done a double-take, almost screamed in fear because Billy was _dead_. He saw Max grieve for a long time, saw her cry and wear a grim look on her face. It was on the news and the paper, and every woman of every age group in Hawkins was sad for a while. He was dead and buried. Steve had seen the tombstone once when Dustin went with Max to visit it, and he ended up joining in.

He thought it was fucked up, how he died. He didn’t deserve what happened to him even if he wasn’t exactly nice when he was alive. He proved to be a good person with a kind heart in the end, and for that, Steve forgave him for what he did to him, even when he never apologized. 

And despite all that, there was Billy, half unconscious, lying on the wet pavement. After a bit of staring at Billy’s body, he realized that a car could come in any direction and run both of them over, so he rushed to move Billy and get him inside his car. He only woke up when Steve laid him on the passenger seat, and only weakly protested and tried to escape again, but then he focused his bleary eyes on Steve’s face and lifted a hand to touch Steve’s, smiling weakly before relaxing and saying, “No hospitals, Pretty Boy,” before passing out again. 

That had been the start of everything, pretty much. 

He drove to his house like a mad man, seeing as how Billy got paler by the second and forgot all about Keith’s fucking VHS. Then, after looking in every direction to see if they weren’t being followed and thankful that his parents’ car wasn’t in the driveway, he went inside the house practically running with Billy in his arms, wetting the carpet with his soaked clothes. Then he laid Billy on the couch, called Dustin, who in turn called everyone else, and then Robin, to come to help him figure something out. They even reached out to Joyce, who said she was leaving that second to help them out. 

Billy had come to after a bit, looking disoriented and afraid, not knowing where he was, but then he saw Steve sitting across from him on the coffee table, shushing him and telling him it was fine, telling him not to be afraid, and he calmed down right away. 

“It’s okay, Billy,” Steve said, helping him lie down more comfortably, “It’s okay.” 

He hadn’t explained much, just that he ran away from where they had him, that he’d been running non-stop and that he wasn’t sure if they followed, or where he was being kept. Said that they were probably going to come looking soon. 

Steve figured as much and thought that it would make sense that they’d keep him in some secret facility experimenting on him, seeing as he got possessed by some interdimensional monster and then died, and then apparently came back. Whatever they buried thinking it was him had to be a prop, like how they did with Will. Steve thought all that as he not so inconspicuously looked at Billy from where he was sat, making sure he wasn’t just hallucinating Billy being there, in his living room couch. 

His blood ran cold, once it settled that this was in fact, Billy Hargrove, alive and breathing right in front of him. 

Then as Billy ate what was supposed to be Steve’s dinner and basically drank a gallon of water, Robin arrived, looking hassled and conflicted, not saying much but trying to get Steve alone to talk to him, maybe actually talk some sense into him, about this whole thing. Then Dustin and Max arrived, Max barging in and running inside, then stopping and staring as tears poured down her face, before running to Billy, who stared right back. Steve doesn’t think he ever saw two people hug like that. He never thought he’d see Billy cry, but there they were, the Hargroves latched onto each other and sobbing. Max never really left Billy’s side after that, and the light kind of shone again on her face, making her look just like she did before the whole shit show unfolded. 

It was kind of awkward after that. Everyone was afraid of Billy but in awe too that he was there, that he was alive. At least he looked more alive than when Steve found him. 

Steve didn’t know what to do, like, _legitimately_ , because things didn’t look too bright if they didn’t act fast, so he hoped Joyce had a solution. Everything proved to be hard and dangerous without Hopper there to help. 

It didn’t take long for Joyce and Eleven to arrive, and in the same fashion as Max, Eleven ran inside and hugged Billy, who reciprocated with enthusiasm. 

After the hugs and the tears, and Billy having Eleven on one side and Max on the other, as if they were protecting him, they discussed what to do. Billy listened to the noise of their words, amusement in his eyes when everyone yelled and Joyce had to yell louder for them to shut up. He didn’t seem like he was injured, aside from his feet that were fucking _destroyed_ from running god knows how long in the woods without shoes, so seeing a doctor was very quickly ruled out. Sure, he was hungry, tired, dehydrated and had a haunted look on his face, but he seemed to be in one piece at least. They’d speculated sending him away with the Byers, but Will and Eleven were there already, so it wasn’t an option since it wouldn’t be hard to figure out he might be with them. Then Dustin suggested they should hide him in someone’s basement, like with Eleven, but then everyone reminded him how that turned out in the end. 

Sending him away was the only option really, but Hopper’s cabin was destroyed. Then Steve remembered that his dad owned a cabin - a tiny cottage, really - much more comfortable than Hopper’s and far away enough from Hawkins that no one would be able to trace it. Much in Midwest fashion, he used to take Steve there for hunting trips when he was a kid, but The Harringtons no longer went there, not since Steve’s mom found out his dad also used it as a cheating getaway with his secretary. It was perfect for the purpose, though. 

Also, Steve Harrington and Billy Hargrove weren’t friends, so it wasn’t like it’d be easy to make the connection, but they had to act quickly. 

The initial plan had been to send Billy alone up there, but Joyce pointed out that the guy was awake on sheer will power, and that he’d need help at least until he recovered a bit. Max offered to go, stubbornly set on the idea that she should take care of him. Then again, Max was still in school and it’d be too obvious anyway, and it would only mean that Billy would most likely get caught right away. 

The only option really, was for Steve to go with him. He’d have to quit his job, make up some excuse to his parents, say some hippie bullshit about leaving for a while to ‘ _find himself_ ’ or whatever the fuck. It was a lot of trouble, and Steve wasn’t happy about it, but the fucking guy had no option and no one else would help him, and calling Owens? That would mean sending Billy right back to the horrors he escaped from.

So. After Dustin and Robin loudly tried to reason with Steve, which meant they yelled and called him a dumbass several times, telling him not to do it, that there was some other option for sure, Steve accepted to go with Billy up there, for a while until he could take care of himself. 

Billy had looked at him with sad eyes, once everything was set and nodded at him, acknowledging his gesture. 

Then Joyce left with a reluctant Eleven, saying to call for anything they might need, leaving only Steve, Billy, Max, Robin, and Dustin still there to plan things through and to help him make up a coherent enough excuse for his parents. It didn’t matter in the end, how coherent it was because his parents weren’t happy about the news and only let it happen once Steve made the deal to work for his dad once he came back after he ‘ _found himself enough_ ’. 

By the next Sunday, - Billy did end up hiding in the Harrington’s basement that week - Billy and Steve were already in the cabin, settling in and trying not to be too paranoid about government people following them, and trying not to be too awkward about their situation. 

Steve didn’t know what to expect, honestly. They weren’t friends, in fact, they barely knew each other really, and with their past plus everything that happened to Billy, he could only guess that everything was going to be a surprise. He only hoped it wasn’t a bad one or at least one that wasn’t _too bad_. 

And that was the start of it. That’s usually how things happen for Steve. They just sort of come to him. 

……….

Billy is not the same though, Steve notices pretty early on. He's still blunt and sharp, still cracks his jokes and smokes, still pushes Steve's limits, but now, there's some kind of depth to his stare, to the way his face falls when he's thinking. It's something that was definitely there before, but now it's no longer camouflaged. Maybe Billy doesn’t, or can’t, hide it anymore. It ages him, makes him look like someone who’s gone through some serious shit and has had to learn how to deal with it on the inside. Steve's not surprised to see it on Billy’s face, because he's seen it before on Will’s. 

There's that and there's also the fact that he's now nicer and quieter too. It’s obvious he's been mellowed by what happened to him. He's still angry, Steve can see it, but the anger has been toned down by whatever they did to him the time he was being held, and definitely by whatever the monster did to him that no one saw. Maybe it’s been toned down by what Billy saw, what Eleven made him remember right before he...well. Right before he _died_. 

Steve can’t be sure, and he thinks Billy will come around and tell him if he wanted to. It’s maybe too early to touch that subject, their friendship is still too fragile for that. 

He doesn't sleep much anymore, just like Steve after the tunnels and the dogs. Steve sleeps better now, but finds that he worries and tries to stay up with Billy, tries to not let him think too much or be alone. They are very far from civilization after all, and they count on each other to make it day by day, and there’s also the fact that they’ve been living together for a while, so it’s normal to worry about someone you spend so much time with, Steve reasons. 

Billy sleeps when he sleeps, but Steve always thinks it's not enough, so he watches him, keeps him company, makes them fight and bicker a little bit sometimes too, to see if that will tire him out and send him to sleep. 

So Billy, from what Steve has gathered because it’s not like he knew him a great deal before, is quieter now, softer, and doesn't sleep that much. He's a different kind of angry too, less prone to take it out on Steve, and less prone to break things. It's a _shift_ , just like their life in the cabin far deep inside the woods. 

He does some other things differently too, Steve has found. 

That thing left its mark, and it shows in Billy’s demeanor, but there’s this _thing_ he does now, this thing that Steve’s still getting used to. It's a bit unnerving, honestly. That's by far the only thing Billy does that freaks Steve out. 

Sometimes, Billy can _see into_ Steve's mind, and that sounds fucking _crazy_ alright, but sometimes he just _knows_ things before Steve’s said them out loud. It gave Steve the fucking creeps the first time Billy did it, and he got really quiet after it too, but once Steve got over the weirdness after the first few times, he thought it came in handy. Nowadays, Steve doesn’t mind it that much anymore. His _power_ , or whatever, doesn’t suddenly make him Professor Xavier from the comics Steve used to borrow from Dustin, but it’s more like he just _knows_ things. Billy explained to him once that it’s not even reading his mind, it’s more like sensing his moods - seeing beyond the physical barrier, he’d said, like a big nerd- or something. Steve thought that it wasn’t something he was going to understand completely unless he had the power too, but he guesses its close enough to be able to perceive people’s thoughts through their moods and feelings. Essentially, then, and according to Steve, _mind-reading_. It’s cool, like, really fucking cool. It makes their communication easier too. 

Billy’s lees guarded and even smiles more since Steve accepted the mind-reading. Steve finds he smiles back more often than he doesn’t. 

And it’s not only the mind-reading he does now. Steve doesn’t think Billy _knows_ he does it, because he only does it when he’s deep asleep, but it’s not that bad. It’s a bit more intrusive than the usual mind-reading because he can actually go through Steve’s memories, but from what Steve’s gathered, it’s sloppy and it mixes with Billy’s dreams and memories. What he says, almost come out like stories, like the recounting of an event long gone. It makes the nice stuff nicer, and the sad stuff sadder, and sometimes it makes Steve fucking _cry_ , because he remembers things he wishes he could forget forever, and because he wishes he could’ve helped Billy when he needed it more. He wishes they both pulled their head out of their asses sooner, and not only because one of them died and came back and needed to escape, or because the other lost everything and realized life is more than what he thought it was. It was weird, feeling so deeply for someone he barely knew, but being in the middle of nowhere with Billy, felt more like home than it ever felt in Hawkins with his parents. 

Steve tried not to read too much into those feelings, and just assumed it’s bound to happen if you’re existing so close to someone all the time; you get used to them, to the comfort of their presence. 

Maybe that thing left a mark on him too and he never noticed, not until now, anyway. 

………

The cabin is surrounded by shadows. The window above Billy’s head is rattling with the wind, and Steve can see he’s finally sound asleep on the floral couch that his mom picked to bring out here, all those years ago. At some point, not really finding what else to do, they’d put a Pink Floyd vinyl that they’d found and that belonged to his dad maybe, the same as the cassette Robin gave him, and Steve’s not a great fan, he’s made that clear, but Billy had smiled at him once it started, eyes heavy with the restlessness that followed him everywhere, so he’d left it. That one song Steve does like from that album, though, the opening one that’s long as fuck has started playing again, and the volume’s low, like an afterthought, not quite filling the still silence of the cabin. Steve remembers that same song playing when he found Billy that Sunday on the side of the road. Billy sighs in his sleep, and Steve just looks at him from the armchair. It’s probably _creepy_ , to see him like this, to examine his face when he’s not haunted; the smoothed lines of his forehead, his thick eyebrows, his long eyelashes touching the tops of his cheeks, his nose, the bow of his lip, and his sharp jaw. Steve’s not blind, so he’s always known Billy’s _beautiful_ , and it’s not so hard to admit anymore, at least to himself. Steve thinks that even with his head shaved, he looks _ethereal_.

The word brings Steve a memory of how when he was a little boy, he used to stay with his grandma a lot. Nana was extremely catholic, so she had all these paintings and saints everywhere that Steve used to stare at for hours on end. Nana used to say they were _ethereal_ , and Steve didn’t understand then, what the word really meant, because the saints and the martyrs and the angels looked _bored_ or _sad_ , but looking at Billy asleep on the dusty cabin in the middle of fucking nowhere, makes Steve understand what nana probably meant as _ethereal_ all those years ago. 

Steve’s overcome by the feeling of belonging and being peaceful, then, once Billy sighs again and shifts a bit. He doesn’t have a _gay panic_ or something, for thinking that the man sleeping in front of him is beautiful, or that seeing him calm makes him feel right at _home_ , even in the uncomfortable armchair in a wooden cabin isolated from everyone and everything. He just thinks it’s natural, that it makes him happy because he knows that even in that little moment, Billy’s probably happy. And it’s crazy, maybe, because just some time ago, he would’ve never guessed Billy, out of all people would’ve been able to make him feel that way. But then again, the feeling’s not new. He’d been slowly realizing that maybe the feeling wasn’t just getting used to spending time with someone so much they become a part of your life. It hits him then that it’s maybe _way more_ than that. 

Steve’s eyes are heavy with exhaustion, so the realization doesn’t make him startle or anything. The music sounds far away, and it’s lulling him to sleep, but then Billy’s talking, telling a story like he sometimes does. Steve pays attention then, makes an effort because he wants to know what this one’s going to be like. 

“You were six,” Billy half mumbles, half whispers. “You always cried because you were sad. It’s the first time I see you, but I go to you, and I kneel by you,” Billy’s quiet for a bit. “We’re both sad because we’re alone, but you stop crying when you look at me. You look cute,” Billy says smiling, and Steve _blushes_ , like an idiot, “you smile at me, like when you made us coffee this morning. I smile too, because I can’t help it, and you take my hand in yours.” 

Billy’s stays quiet after that, and Steve thinks that’s the story for the day, thinks none of the stories before have been about their childhood. Thinks that that memory is true. He was a crier when he was a kid, he cried a lot because he was sad about being alone, but no one cared. He doesn’t know much about Billy’s memory or what he means by being _alone_ in his case, but it stings anyway. He does know he would’ve liked it if Billy was there, back then. He knows he would’ve liked for Billy to be in his life way sooner. 

“The first time you took my hand when we were playing at school,” Billy whispers again, Steve knows it doesn’t matter that it doesn’t make sense with what he said before, because he understands what he’s talking about, “from that moment, I knew you would save me someday, and that my heart would be yours.” 

And apparently, that’s when Billy’s done because he turns on his side and continues sleeping soundly. Steve’s fully awake now. He’s frozen in place, looking at Billy’s back. He doesn’t sleep a wink that night, trying to make sense of what that all meant. It sounded like a love confession, but Steve doesn’t know what to do with it or if he should believe it, not because he thinks Billy would lie, or because it’s gross or whatever, but because it hits him that his earlier realization about his feelings being _more_ , only means that he definitely _loves_ Billy too. 

……..

It’s around 6 when Billy wakes up. It’s a whole lot more than what he usually sleeps, so Steve smiles automatically when he sees him, all soft, with a ratty sweater full of holes and a pillow crease on the left side of his face. Steve remembers what he said though and once he starts to get close, he blushes and tries to act normal, turning back around to tend to what he’s cooking. Billy comes close, raising a brow at Steve but not saying anything either. When he’s close enough, that Steve can feel his warmth next to him, Steve knows it’s a lost cause because Billy can read minds or whatever, so he’s gonna know that Steve’s nervous and fucking confused, and the explanation for that is gonna make for a _great_ breakfast. 

“It _does_ look like a great breakfast,” Billy says with his morning voice and a hint of amusement. Steve wants to bang his head with the hot pan. 

“Don’t do that,” Steve says, a hint of desperation in his voice, “Don’t read my fuckin’ mind so early in the morning,” 

“Or what?” Billy says, stealing some of the hash browns still on the pan. Steve slaps his hand away, and Billy smiles the trademark Billy smile that’s a rare occurrence these days. 

“Or you get no fuckin’ hash browns,” Steve says, serving two plates despite his threats, trying not to drop them to the ground. 

“Why are you so nervous?” Billy asks once they’ve sat across from each other to eat. “Is it hitting now, what your girlfriend and the curly-haired kid told you about me before you came here with me and tell you every time they come by?” 

“No, Robin’s not my girlfriend, what the _fuck_ ,” Steve snorts at that because if Billy only _knew_. He scoffs with his mouth full at the whole question though, “No. Nothing’s hitting, shut up.” 

“Is that right,” Billy says, assessing Steve. “I don’t know about her not being your girlfriend, I don’t believe you, but you could tell me what has your panties in a bunch, or you can wait until I inevitably pick it up,” Billy says, popping his mouth full, not looking at Steve. 

“She’s _not_ , Jesus, why would I lie about that,” Steve says, exasperated, “and I know you can’t control it _yet_ , but you gotta try to stay out of my head, dude,” Steve says, tries to keep his feelings at bay, not looking at Billy in the eye, like that might help. 

“I suggest you don’t try to hide it,” Billy says calmly, “it’s worse for you. Also, it never bothered you before, why are you so pressed now?”

“I think I deserve some privacy in my own fucking head, you know,” Steve explains. He finds that he’s lost his appetite. 

“Well, _I’m sorry_. You said so, I _can’t_ control it,” Steve doesn’t need to read minds to know that Billy’s fucking with him. He wants to scream. “Don’t scream, please, Harrington, it’s _too early_ , right?” 

“Fuck, you know what, I’ll go for a walk or something, see you later,” Steve half yells, and he knows he’s overreacting, so he’s about to make it up or whatever, but then Billy mumbles, “you’re tellin’ me,” as he raises his eyebrows, and Steve just stands up making a lot of noise, and leaves. 

He’s walking through the nature trail that leads to a creek nearby, trying not to bang his head against the nearest tree in frustration, but then he turns his head when he hears steps behind him and there’s Billy’s still dressed in the sweater and the sweatpants, surely freezing his ass off, but taking long strides to be next to Steve. 

Steve stops walking and combs his fingers through his hair and pulls a bit, looks at Billy approaching, shaking his head because he’s fucking _unbelievable_ , and Billy looks like he’s trying not to laugh. Steve puts his hands on his waist, curses under his breath, and continues walking once Billy’s just a few steps behind. 

“So, where are we going?” Billy says, right next to him now, and the amusement is there like Steve’s his clown or something. 

“You tell me, you’re the mind reader,” 

“Which one is it, you tell me to stay out but now you want me to read your mind?” 

“We’re going to the fuckin’ mall,” Steve says angrily, stomping his feet. 

“Are we now?” Billy says, lighting a cigarette, “You like that creek too much, Pretty boy- hey, I don’t need to read minds to know that we’re going there, so don’t look at me like that,” He takes a puff, and Steve can see how he’s trying not to laugh at his expression. 

Steve says nothing, just walks faster, like that might make Billy go away. He wonders how in the _fuck_ did he ended up falling in love, of _all_ fucking people, with Billy Hargrove. For a hysterical moment, he thinks if it would’ve been better to fall from the fucking _quarry_ instead. 

“That’s not funny,” Billy says, smoking his cigarette still. “Don’t think shit like that.” 

“You don’t know the context,” Steve says, thinks he’s thankful Billy doesn’t.

“Oh, but _now_ I wanna know since you’re so thankful I don’t.” 

“Get out of my head! Fuck!” 

“No can do, Pretty boy, can’t control it, remember?” 

And he’s so calm like he won’t give up until Steve tells him what has him one second away from having a stroke. 

They’re at the creek then, so Steve sits down and just puts his face in his hands, not knowing what else to do. He knows Billy’s watching him quietly, waiting for him to explain himself. 

It’s the middle of the fucking woods, but the water and the sounds around him are loud in his ears as he’s trying to stay calm. He dramatically left because he was just trying to get away from Billy so as not absolutely blow his (admittedly shit) cover, but there he was, taking a seat right next to him on the half-rotten log that Steve’s crumpled on. 

Sometimes the mind-reading was one of the bad things about this place. 

It’s not the gay panic and the confusion because that’s the last of his concerns if he’s being honest. It’s normal for him now, the gay thing, ever since Robin became a steady part of his life. What concerns him, even if he’s sure Billy reciprocates the feelings, is that _maybe_ it’s not the best moment to be thinking about the possibility of a relationship or whatever the fuck, given their situation, especially, Billy’s situation. 

Steve’s sure it can’t be easy to be possessed, and then to die, and then to fucking come back, and to top it all off, to have to hide because there are scientists and secret government organizations looking for him. 

So. That’s the problem. Steve has never thought of Billy as _vulnerable_ , but he knows the shit he’s gone through has surely left a mark, and that means Billy’s still not totally fine, so Steve doesn’t want to take advantage of that fragility and start something that will only cause more pain. 

Then there’s also the fact that he doesn’t want Billy to be alone, because if things didn’t end up working between them, Steve knows he’d have to leave. Billy would be welcome to stay, but he knows he’s too proud, and him leaving the cabin would inevitably mean that Owens and whoever else was after him would find him, but that thought makes Steve’s skin crawl, knowing Billy would most likely end up a lab rat forever or maybe find his actual death. 

And it’s been quiet for a bit, but he knows Billy’s picked up the emotions behind his thoughts and concerns. He knows Billy knows now and isn’t it fucking romantic, to have the person you’re in love with just know everything like that. 

“Hey,” Billy says, after a bit, “C’mon, Steve, look at me,”

It’s still calm, like before, like the voice he uses when he dreams and tells Steve stories. It’s _warm_ too, and that’s new and surprising, so Steve looks at him, squinting a bit, applying the universal rule of _‘if I can’t see them then they can’t see me’_. 

“It’s okay,” Billy says as he extends his hand to Steve. “It’s okay.” 

Steve takes Billy’s hand in his, and they stay like that, for a bit. Steve thinks that even taking Billy’s hand feels like home. He wonders if that’s how it felt for Billy in his dream. 

“Thank you for worrying about me,” Billy says quietly, “you don’t have to, not about, y’ know, everything you’re worried about.” 

“But I do, though,” Steve answers quietly. “Saving you, right?” He puts their clasped hands in the air and points with his eyes. 

Billy huffs out a laugh, brings their hands up closer to his lips and kisses Steve’s hand lightly. “White Knight Harrington.”

Steve smiles despite himself. 

“Do I do it often?” Billy asks after a bit. His hand is warm and his hold is firm, and Steve loves it.

“Not often,” Steve answers, letting their hands rest atop his thigh. “Only after you’ve been awake for too long.”

“Are they always nice?” Billy asks again, and he squeezes Steve’s hand. 

“No, but the nice ones make up for the bad ones.” Steve squeezes back. 

“Do you love me? For real?” Steve asks this time. 

“I did say that you had my heart, didn’t I?” 

“Yeah, yeah. You did. I love you too.”

It’s nice, just holding hands like that. Billy’s fingers entwined with Steve’s. The song that played yesterday, and the day he found Billy, it plays in Steve’s head for whatever reason. He thinks that just maybe, things aren’t as grim as they look and that the mind-reading is not that bad, after all. 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not over exaggerating when I say that s3 fucked me up real good and that I cried for like 3 days after it came out. I literally had no energy left in me to read fanfiction after all that, and I also got surgery, so it's been great for me, as you can tell. I'm sure there are better fix-it fics out there already, and I'm sure there might be something similar to this thing too, but listen, I just hope you enjoyed it a little bit at least. I should've probably added more details as to how exactly Billy came back, or how he escaped, but it is what it is, I guess. 
> 
> I got the idea of the dream thing because the other day I was lying down with someone I love very much, and they said to me "you were six, and you were crying in my dream" as they slept, so I said bruh and had to write it lol. 
> 
> I love your feedback, so please, feel free to leave your comments!!! :)


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